Books & Blessings,
Never Satisfied - Chapter 14
That night when Rahsaun walked through the door with another piece of luggage, I was waiting for him in the family room. Dressed in my sweats and sneakers, I was prepared for a fight. I fought against the urge to attack him. I remained calm as I watched him place his bag on the floor and remove his coat. He headed towards the kitchen without acknowledging me and started rummaging through the refrigerator.
“Do you feel like chicken or steak for dinner?” He shouted from the kitchen.
“Neither. Just a salad.” I replied.
“You can’t keep starving yourself, Charisse. It’s not good for the baby.”
My heart dropped. I could not believe what I had just heard.
“What baby?” I stammered as I walked towards the kitchen.
“I am not stupid! I know you are pregnant. I followed you and Nadia to the doctor’s office. Why else would you need to see an OB/GYN? Why would you hide this from me? Were you planning to kill my baby?”
“Your baby?”
“Why are you trying to get me upset? Stop with the stupid act. I know you are carrying our baby. Listen, I promise to get help if you promise to keep the baby. Please, Charisse. I know you are not happy and I know it’s my fault. I will do whatever you want if you promise me you will not kill my baby.”
An abortion was the last thing on my mind especially since this was not his baby. Still, my heart wanted to chance his words and actions. Maybe, he would change. But, what about Nadia and Rodney? I made a promise to Rodney that we would be friends and I broke that one. I also promise Nadia that I would end this relationship with Rahsaun. Besides all that, this was not his baby. How would he react when he found out the truth. I could not deal with that.
“Rahsaun, I understand that you gave up your whole life for the kids and me but this is not what I wanted. We need to take a step back. I don’t want what happened to Rodney and me to happen to us.”
I was lying through my teeth but I figured he would handle rejection better if I made it seem like I was doing it for us.
“Charisse, I don’t think that’s the solution. We need to work through our issues instead of running away. Especially now.”
“What about now? Children should be raised in a loving home. There is no love in this home. You have my kids scared to be kids. Dammit, this is their house and they are scared to walk outside their rooms. No, Rahsaun this is not working. Now or ever.”
“Are you kicking me out?” He asked as he stepped closer to me.
“I think it would be best for both of us.”
“I see! Now that the business is rolling and I own nothing you feel you don’t need me! What about how I feel? I need you, Charisse. I am not going anywhere. Do you hear me?”
“Rahsaun, you have to go. I will give you until the end of this week….”
“I don’t give a damn if you give me until the end of the month. I am not leaving and you are going to have to just deal with that.”
“Alright, well if you don’t want to leave, I will.”
Swiftly, Rahsaun stood before me and grabbed my arm.
“You are not leaving this house either!” He demanded as he stared into my eyes.
“Rahsaun, this is what I am talking about.”
“You brought this on yourself. Now, call Rodney and tell him to keep the kids. You and I are going to start a new life.”
“The hell we are! Rahsaun you are crazy if you think that I am going to let you control me another day.”
“As I see it Charisse, you have no other choice.”
Rahsaun went into his bag, dragging me along the way and retrieved a shiny black 9mm and placed the cold steel against my neck.
“Now we can continue living the rest of our lives like a happy family or …”
Rahsaun never finished his sentence but I understood completely.
“Rahsaun, what are you doing?”
He never answered. Rahsaun retreated to the kitchen and continued fixing dinner with the gun sitting on his waist.
I thought about bolting out of the door but fear kept me captive.
“Steak or chicken?” His deep voice startled me.
“Chicken.” I replied.
Never Satisfied Copyright©2009 - Danette Maroney
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