SEXUAL FANTASIES - Let's live our dreams and satisfy our DESIRES!!

From the desk of Lady Diva...

So...How has your week been? Sorry I am a little late with this week's post but I figured an extra few days to read then re-read last week's blog on Oral Sex may be a good thing for some. I have more responses from women than men on that one. Men complain about not receiving Oral sex but when I put it out there, [men] have ABSOLUTELY nothing to say in return. Tsk, tsk! Anyway, we are moving forward; Fantasies --- Sexual fantasies. Let's satisfy our desires.

For a long time, I sought to fulfill each and every fantasy of mine as they came to mind. However I have yet to achieve my newest fantasy: go to a Swingers club. That's right friends, I want to see first hand the lifestyle that has come to light and recruits new members in groves.

One of my very first fantasies was to kiss a girl. However I was not brazen enough to go after it like I did all the others thereafter. Yet, I did live the fantasy and I liked it.

The same as most of you who are secure in your sexuality and seek to explore every new avenue, I wanted to have sex in the great outdoors. Still young and in my experimental stage, I conquered this fantasy and added it to my favorites IMMEDIATELY!

As the years progressed the thrill level of each fantasy increased and enjoyed the satisfaction of each adventurous accomplishment. But I have found myself in stand-still when it comes to chasing my latest and greatest fantasy of visiting a swingers club.

A few years ago a friend of mine asked me to visit one with him. Now as much as I love the excitement of sex in front of strangers, I was not big on watching others have sex. Therefore, I became apprehensive of actually going through with it. Yes, I admit I was not a fan of porn. Lol. Go figure.

Again to overcome this fear like all others I had to question what was holding me back. At first I felt as if it was my lack of excitement that would cause my significant other to resort to porn, I even had a brief lack of self-esteem thinking that I was not pretty or bootylicious. I got over the self esteem issue quick though because I knew I want lacking in the looks or booty departments. Leaving me to look into my bedroom performance. Now I have never had complaints but I knew there was more I could be doing to keep him from those damn videos so my last resort was to watch and learn.

Once that spark ignited inside me, it was on. I wanted to watch them with him, practice until perfect then start something new. Somehow in the mix of all this I began to desire more. Yet, I couldn't put my finger on what exactly I was looking for until I read "Erotic City" by Pynk. Her vivid descriptions of the swinger lifestyle awoke that inner freak in me. It was then I knew that I had to visit a swingers club. The thrill of watching a live porn, seeing the excitement bulge in my man's pants then finishing the job was the "umph" I needed to reach the next plateau. So we did and research and are making plans to make the most out of this new adventure.

This is not an invitation for anyone to live on the wild and dangerous side. As always keep it safe. I do urge you to fulfill those inner desires, enrich your relationship with your partner and yourself for that matter. If your fantasy is to be experimental, start simple. Some yet going for the full Monty and skip the baby steps necessary to achieve total enjoyment. You must first learn to love sex before you can love being experimental. Be confident in yourself and your sexuality. This alone will intensify each encounter.

As always live your dreams, love yourself, have sex and be happy.

Hugs & Kisses!!
Lady Diva

ORAL SEX - DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU!!!

From the desk of Lady Diva

Hello again my faithful friends. I see our last blog raised a lot of eyebrows as we have had plenty of responses. Both positive and negative, I appreciate them all. (Even though I believe the negative ones were just to play devil's advocate.) For all the nay-sayers I say this, you can't knock it until you try it. I understand those with concerns of disease (STD). However, if you have seen one (penis or vagina) you have seen enough to say, "Hmm this does or does not look right." Remember ONS and BC are not the reasons why STD's spread, Ignorance is.

This week we are delving into the world of Oral Sex; fellatio, cunnilingus, giving-head, going down, blow job, eating cooch. No I will not be teaching the proper techniques, LOL. I am getting into the most famous argument at hand. Why does it seem like a chore for some to reciprocate?

I mean, geesh, why does it seem like its alright for me to get down for mine but have to beg for him or her to go down for theirs? As long as your hygiene is tight and the package is pretty, what's the problem? Brothers, now you complain all the time that there are some females that will not give head but have you checked yourselves. Ladies, this includes you too. Keep it clean and trimmed. Wild bush is not attractive.

Unfotunate for some, we do live in a give to get world. Void are the days of romance and foreplay. Some of us want the excitement in the bedroom, show your true freaky side. I want to know if you (give head, eat cooch) like if its you last meal or are you the type to play around with it, complain that it makes you sick or front like you know what you doing but really don't.

We need to be upfront with our partners and ourselves. If you are down to go the whole-nine-yards then it should be a no-holds-barred when we get in the bedroom. Ladies, if you wanna keep your man, even if you don't want to admit it, you may need to learn a tongue trick or two. Remember, what we won't do someone else will. Really, what is holding you back besides the occasional sweaty testes.

Men, you are not off the hook. Just the same, you may want to learn a trick or two for your ladies. We can and will find satisfaction. Some may find it with themselves, some with another man that doesn't mind or even a woman. It is not that uncommon for a woman to find sexual healing in another woman. If you don't believe it, look around you.

Don't fool yourself into thinking your sex-game can't be replaced. Besides the toys and things we all keep hidden in the treasure chest, there is always someone around the corner waiting for their moment to slide or should I say, SLURP right in!

Just as much as we may hate the sound of Oral Sex, it is hear to stay and we have to grow to love it! Yes, love it. When you love it, Oh it shows. I believe in one good turns deserves another. When my man puts it down, I believe he deserves a reward and the sex thereafter will scream, "ENCORE, ENCORE!!!"

Now, if oral sex is not your thing by all means you are entitled to your beliefs, opinions whatever. But do not expect more than you are giving. Also, do not start something that you do not plan to keep up. False appearances, or as we say fronts, happens all the time but when it comes to sex this is a no-no! Do not empty the bag of goodies on the first day and then slack thereafter. Each day should continue to be promising of more treats to come. If you feel you have exhausted all you treats, hell pull out an old one, polish it off and put a different spin on it.

Sex, in any shape, form or fashion is and always will be the glue for any relationship. Keep your relationship tight by keeping your mind open to different techniques to keep your bedroom EXCITING!!! (Especially if you plan on keep them for the long haul! SMILE!!)

As always, I am looking forward to your questions, comments and concerns. Talk to me!

Live, Love and Laugh!!

Lady Diva

One Night Stand -VS-Booty Call

From the Desk of Lady Diva

First and foremost, I would like to say thank you to all those who have visited Give It To Me Right!, became a follower and/or member on our Facebook group and reached out to give us your feedback. Due to the influx of compliments and encouragement, we are back with more juicy topics in the realms of sex, love and relationships.

Last week we focused on the first simple form of guilt free sex, MASTURBATION. This week we have chosen to focus on her step-sisters, One Night Stand and Booty Call. Those of you who have experienced either understand what I mean when I say they are just other forms of masturbation. Just like masturbation, we turn to One Night Stands and Booty Call to cure our need for an immediate, no strings attached orgasm.

The One Night Stand was once considered a single night theater performance. Still holding true to its meaning, it is still a single night performance between two (or more - hell the more the merrier, right?) individuals. One good sexual encounter between (almost) strangers for the sole purpose of a intimate release. There are those that look down on the One Night Stand (ONS) and may consider it pointless. (As if being able to release sexual frustration could ever be pointless.)

As with all other good things, there is always some kind of snafu. In this instance, its in the form of question. Is it possible for anyone to enter into these type of arrangements and stay committed to the No Strings Attached (NSA) rule? More so, can we have sex and not catch feelings?

My partner feels it is safer to stick with the good ole imagination. She says she has multiple ONS in her mind with the man of her dreams. She feels that its the safer way to play, no feelings and no worries. Like most, she believes no one can walk away from an ONS or Booty Call (BC) untouched. However, she is not against either. She just feels is a battle of mental strength.

I, on the other hand, have never, ever had a problem separating my emotions and walking away, head held high and fully satisfied. ONS are for those, who at times, do not desire a relationship but still crave the passion of intercourse. Yes, similar to a BC however, ONS does not have a second night encore performance whereas a BC can and most likely does.

ONS & BC, no matter the difference have one rule in common, it must be understood by both participants in order for it to work properly. False promises are not necessary nor appreciated. Individuals would much rather be told upfront what the situation is than harboring hard feelings down the line for being misled into thinking it would blossom into more. (HINT, HINT BROTHERS...SISTERS WANT OPTIONS!) But for the most part ONS are only considered by one and the other is unaware. After the sex, the dates, phone calls and all other sweet preludes cease. No need to continue to maintain the front, the job is done.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW:
ONE NIGHT STANDS ARE NOT THE SAME AS BOOTY CALLS.

ONS stands are never with the same partner. I know many that are a fan of the ONS. As long as their desires are met, they're GREAT!!! I have had both a ONS and a BC. As a matter of fact, at one time I had a serious fear of relationships and lived by the motto, "one and done." I couldn't and didn't want to deal with he day after "clinginess". You know the type that cries, "But we had sex!" when you cut them loose. Now I am not saying a sister has a Kat made of platinum, but this one brother got a taste and it was hell to shake him loose. So in fear of making the same mistake, I made a pact with a friend to be my BC. And we remained that way for 5 years. He was like a best friend. Our relationship was never complicated, we confided in each other and developed a different kind of love for one another. He was there when I needed someone to kiss, cuddle and share in foreplay.

Now I am not knocking ONS, if that's your choice, by all means, do you!!! But as they say, "buyers beware." You may wind up with a clingy one and if your sex game is on point, you may want to think twice. All it takes is one good hit and someone can go from sane to stalker over good sex. (Trust me, I know. LOL)

However keep in mind this one rule: DON'T EVER ASSUME IT IS MORE THAT IT IS!! Be sure everyone is on the same playing field for maximum enjoyment. I say this because there are some that assume sex = relationships. Not at all.

I know people are saying ONS and BC are so risque, so many diseases. I NEVER said go raw! That should be a given but for those that need to hear it - USE A CONDOM! SAFE SEX = GREAT SEX!

Remember there is nothing dirty about sex as long as we practice safe sex and good hygiene
So live, love, have great sex and be happy.